October has been a crazy ride, one I'd really like to get off of now, thank you very much! It started out pretty good really, looking back form where I am now standing. Yeah sure, I was sad and a little down hearted thinking about what has been taken from Emma over the last year, it was hard not to think about it with it being Rett Syndrome Awareness month. I had messages and posts blowing up my Facebook page and email daily as an incessant reminder of all that had changed.
Then another 48 hour EEG. :(
The EEG almost put a wretch in Halloween but we found away around it!
By the end of the month it seemed that her seizures were getting better, almost gone really. Then we were in the waiting area of a doctors office and she had about 6 seizures in an hour. Horrendous. Then we went in to see the doctor and he told me that if I do not get her weight up by like 5 lbs in the next 6 months she was going to have to get a feeding tub inserted. Seriously? I know that it is probably irrational but it terrifies me. I have no idea why but I am horrified at the thought of a feeding tube. Everyone says that its no big deal but I find it unimaginable. SO, needless to say 6 seizures and a g-tube discussion later I was a hot mess when I left. 2 days later I went to the orthopedic doctor and he told me that she had a 37 degree curve in her back and that she needed to be braced immediately and that we were basically trying to buy time until she matured enough and then we'd end up with back surgery to fuse her spine. WTF!! This was a bit more than I could take and I had a bit of a break down all the way home.
Seriously little girl, is there no bullet you can doge from the Rett Monsters?
THEN Emma had a massive seizure that knocked her right out and earned her a ride in an ambulance. She was out for almost 6 hours straight and was in he pediatric ICU for several days. She was reviewed by cardiology, had another EEG and then an MRI. Super fun.

Nasty November is also a time to remember what you are thankful for...
I am so thankful for my beautiful little girl and that I get to see her beautiful face and gorgeous smile everyday.
I am thankful that I get to hold her and hug her and kiss her cheeks each day.
I am thankful that she is mine and no one else's.
I am thankful that she is coming back to me, I can see it in her eyes.
I am also thankful for my wonderfully supportive friends and family.
I am also thankful for this little devil!
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