Trama-tober and nasty November

Just when you think that you have things under control, that you have a handle on what is going on and the gears seem to be turning nicely once again the Rett monsters show up and throw a nice big fat wrench into the gears.

October has been a crazy ride, one I'd really like to get off of now, thank you very much!  It started out pretty good really, looking back form where I am now standing.  Yeah sure, I was sad and a little down hearted thinking about what has been taken from Emma over the last year, it was hard not to think about it with it being Rett Syndrome Awareness month.  I had messages and posts blowing up my Facebook page and email daily as an incessant reminder of all that had changed.  

On the 21st of October things got scary.  I got a call at work from my husband, the occupational therapist and the pediatrician within minutes of each other (you know this is not going to be good news) saying that Emma had suffered multiple seizures within an hour.  It felt like my heart literally fell out of my chest.  I think I only felt heartache that deeply painful on the day that she was diagnosed with Rett Syndrome. I raced out of work, scaring all of my students most likely and drove home like a bat outta hell calling the pediatrician and neurologist as I drove home (on my bluetooth through my car stereo of course :))  She was admitted to the hospital and they started IV Keppra and did an EEG to see what was going on, they told me it could take several weeks to get things under control so I took a leave of absence from work for a month so that I could be there for my baby girl. They happened several more times and they were scary but they seemed to be getting under control, however, ever since the seizures started her puking returned.  Great. 

Then another 48 hour EEG.   :(

The EEG almost put a wretch in Halloween but we found away around it!

By the end of the month it seemed that her seizures were getting better, almost gone really.  Then we were in the waiting area of a doctors office and she had about 6 seizures in an hour.  Horrendous.  Then we went in to see the doctor and he told me that if I do not get her weight up by like 5 lbs in the next 6 months she was going to have to get a feeding tub inserted. Seriously?   I know that it is probably irrational but it terrifies me.  I have no idea why but I am horrified at the thought of a feeding tube.  Everyone says that its no big deal but I find it unimaginable.  SO, needless to say 6 seizures and a g-tube discussion later I was a hot mess when I left.  2 days later I went to the orthopedic doctor and he told me that she had a 37 degree curve in her back and that she needed to be braced immediately and that we were basically trying to buy time until she matured enough and then we'd end up with back surgery to fuse her spine.  WTF!!  This was a bit more than I could take and I had a bit of a break down all the way home.  

Seriously little girl, is there no bullet you can doge from the Rett Monsters?

THEN Emma had a massive seizure that knocked her right out and earned her a ride in an ambulance.  She was out for almost 6 hours straight and was in he pediatric ICU for several days.  She was reviewed by cardiology, had another EEG and then an MRI. Super fun.

 NOW, her seizure are changing.  She was having more absence seizures where she was just kind of passing out, now she is contorting and getting all twisted up when she has them.  Not a very pleasant way to see your daughter.

Nasty November is also a time to remember what you are thankful for...

I am so thankful for my beautiful little girl and that I get to see her beautiful face and gorgeous smile everyday. 

I am thankful that I get to hold her and hug her and kiss her cheeks each day.  

I am thankful that she is mine and no one else's.  

I am thankful that she is coming back to me, I can see it in her eyes.

I am also thankful for my wonderfully supportive friends and family.

I am also thankful for this little devil!

GI Doctor do-over

I find it hard to believe that any where on earth could suck more than this particular doctors office.  The first guy I saw treated me like a hysterical mother and ignored my concerns.  The last time I went to this office he kept me waiting over an hour and then sent me to the lab to get Emma tested for a gluten allergy, I asked if I needed a referral and he said "no, because I'm sending you".  Then when the insurance rejected the claim stating that I needed a ..... wait for it.... a F#$&* REFERRAL... he denied ever sending me to the lab and never returned my phone calls.  Jerk.

Why on earth would I go back there you ask? I'll give you a three letter explanation, H.M.O. This is our in network spot, fabulous. I can hardly wait to switch to a PPO. This time was almost as stellar as the last time. I had to wait an hour and twenty minutes in a microscopic, featureless, toy less, non-child friendly room (keep in mind we are at a CHILDREN's hospital). They had 2 patients scheduled for the same doctor at the exact same time. How completely obnoxious and unforgivably inconsiderate! Your right, I couldn't possibly have anything to do other than sit around and wait for you to grace me with your presence. Needless to say the GI do-over was less than sucessful. I am somewhat amused by the shock to my less than cordial greeting. The doctor came in I smiling and perky "Hi! How we doing !". Me: "we are great! I love being forced to wait over an hour for people" 

2,480 miles later

My belief in the medical field is almost nonexistent at this point.  We took Emma to the Rett Syndrome clinic in Minnesota it was a wonderful experience.  The people that work there are wonderful and the doctors were fantastic.  

I brought with me the medical records, x-rays and reports from her regular doctors office in Illinois.  They reviewed the records and x-rays.  When they put up the x-ray of her back I about died.   I must have looked like I felt because the doctor in Minnesota looked at me and said "oh, is this the first time you are seeing this?"  Why yes, yes it was. EVEN I COULD SEE the CURVE in her SPINE!!  Seriously!  These were the records I brought with me, taken months before!! I was floored, I almost burst into flames in her office.  It was all I could do to contain my self and not completely spaz out in front of an office full of people.  I can see the headline now "Psycho Mom Freaks Out in Children's Hospital".  

Between the doctors who told me: 

• "95% sure she did not have Rett": her developmental pediatrician  (oops, she does), 
• her GI doctor that treated me like I was a hysterical mother and then LIED about referring me to the lab causing my insurance to come after me  (the file later showed him to be full of crap), 
• the on call ER doctor that blew me off and told me not to come in when I told her Emma was puking and lethargic by responding "its night time, babies are supposed to be lethargic (Emma was hospitalized the next morning for 4 days she was so dehydrated they almost had to shove the IV in her neck), 
• pediatricians who told me I was over reacting and that "all children develop differently" 
• Physiatrists that miss curves of the spine

I don't know why anyone listens or trust anything these people say!  It seems to me that if you have a need beyond the common cold or a an immunization you are screwed!!